Lola Ibrahim is an Architect and a gender equality advocate, a property consultant and president, Women Against Violence and Exploitation (WAVE) Foundation. In this interview with ENE OSHABA she speaks on her experience as female genital mutilation survivor and advocacy against the practice among others.
What’s your background and how did you become a gender advocate?
I was born in Gusau, Zamfara state some 50 years ago but grew up in Niger state. My parents are originally from Oshogbo, so I am from Osun state.
I campaign for equal rights for women and some of those issues that continue to hinder women’s progress such as harmful practices like Female Genital Mutation (FGM), early marriage, child abuse. These are issues I strongly campaign against so that it can come to a stop.
I want to say my passion found me, because I have been in the construction industry for 20 years. Between 2016 and 2017 I was on Instagram and I saw a post about FGM that drew my attention because I am a survivor. I reached out to the person who made the posted and she invited me to speak about it at an event in the United States and from there I found my voice and started using it.
During my trip to the US the woman who took me there advised me to talk to my mum about how I feel. So, in January 2019, for the first time ever I was able to confront my mother to tell me about the genital mutilation.
So, how did the conversation go?
My mum said I was little, about one-year-old when she took me to my paternal grandparents and my grandmother asked her to take me somewhere for them to cut me.
I asked her why and she said it was tradition. According to her, my grandma was cut, was cut and all my sisters were cut too. So it was a generational thing which the people believed in it and felt they should carry on.
Despite my mother’s exposure to education she still did it because her mother in-law said she should do it. She also believed in the practice because her people carried it on from generation to generation.
Why did you feel differently about the cut?
I was fortunate enough to understand the implications of having FGM done on me so I didn’t cut my daughter. I stopped this long generation tradition because I didn’t cut my daughter and that is why I choose the advocacy to let people know that this practice may have been from generation to generation and time immemorial but with education, global knowledge and the fact that this is harmful to the woman and violates their human rights it must be stopped, and we must continue to speak out about it.
Did you ask your mother what they benefitted from the practice?
Yes, she said: “If you are a Yoruba girl and you are not cut, you are called Akobo meaning uncircumcised female and it’s something very derogatory.
“People will not like you, you won’t want to be called such and men will not like to marry an uncircumcised woman and for them it’s a thing of pride.”
Looking at it from retrospect, my mother did not mean harm. She did that to me from a point of love and that helped me deal with it and get closure.
I suffered a lot because of that cut. I went through four caesarean sections because I was cut. I also have friends who had keliods on that part of their bodies where they were cut. They had very painful sexual experiences and their marriages crashed and so on.
So many people suffered different things but if they understand why they did it that would help them heal fast as well as deal with the trauma and pain.
How have you evolved with the advocacy?
I registered this NGO in 2016, it was called Wonder Women Foundation then but in 2019 we changed our name to Women Against Violence and Exploitation (WAVE). We say exploitation because it captures a whole lot women go through and we decided to identify with SDG 5 specifically which is gender equality and then under gender equality we pick one thematic area which is to fight FGM.
When I started sharing my story people identified because that stigma and shame was a huge burden but my speaking up emboldened a lot of people because they realised that Lola was cut too and they began to share their stories then I began to find out what exactly was their problem.
The few people I have spoken to usually have mental or health issues and when they tell us about their challenges we link them up to relevant experts like doctors and mental health experts.
Have you encountered any challenges with this advocacy considering you are breaking an age long tradition?
Yes, we have encountered challenges. Some of the challenges we have is funding for our programmes and then having to convince the custodians of culture either the matriarch or patriarch in the family; not even traditional or religious leaders, those people are ready to carry out the message.
The difficult people to change their mindset are the grandmas and grandpas in the family because they believe that this is how it has been done, and must continue to be done. So it’s difficult to convince them except you talk to them from the harmful part of the practice of FGM.
One has to be very diplomatic in trying to convince them because you can’t tell them the culture is bad, they won’t even listen to you.
Is FGM curable?
There is no way to cure FGM. The only alternative is to go for restorative surgery which is very expensive. Once that part of the body is removed it is gone forever and for me it’s a form of disability, an unseen disability. If you remove part of a woman’s genitals you have removed it forever and as they say it is done to reduce the woman’s promiscuity but you may end up encouraging her to be promiscuous by cutting her.
When she doesn’t find sexual satisfaction with one man she is likely to try many other men and that which you are trying to control you end up not controlling.
How favourable has response to the advocacy been considering it’s something private?
Fortunately people are receptive to the advocacy but the judicial process needs to be stepped up because the law against this for me is too basic.
Currently, anybody find guilty of FGM is fined 200,000 or two years imprisonment but I think there is need for stiffer penalties. We need to get culprits, prosecute them so as to deter people from doing FGM.
We also need to pass these messages in our local dialects because this advocacy is done in English but people that practice FGM are at the grassroots and does not understand the English language.
There should be jingles on radio and television, film production in local languages and let the film industries produce more films that talk about the effects of FGM let’s put the messages in the faces of the people because anything that affects the woman no matter how small it is affects her.
Women at the grassroots are speaking up now against Gender Based Violence (GBV) generally, but I think more women recognise now that they have rights and should not accept FGM. When they know that GBV is not acceptable they also pass the message within themselves and gradually we bring it to a stop.
On this note what is your take on the just concluded I6 days activism against GBV in Nigeria?
The 16 days activism is a global campaign against all forms of GBV starting from November 25 to December 10 yearly; it is the 30th commemoration this year. It is a rallying point for both men and women to campaign for gender equality.
My message to everyone is that women’s rights is human rights, if you empower a woman you empower the whole Community and the ripple effect is far reaching so we should all do our beats to give women a voice in the society.
Women should be empowered and allowed to fulfil their potentials in whatever capacity they find themselves.
What can you say to voiceless FGM survivors who wish to be courageous like you?
They must understand that the dynamics of culture is completely different from 20-30 years ago with education and internet available now. There are so many avenues for people to express themselves; women should find a platform that allows them use their voice positively.
Do you still practice architecture?
Yes, I still practice architecture and right now I have projects in Jalingo, Ekiti, Abuja. I am still in the construction industry full time.
So, how do you joggle between all you do?
I have a power team of volunteers who understand the vision and mission of the Organisation. WAVE is not Lola, it’s a team work and would continue with or without me, and then I still find time to play with my boys, we do go to watch movies I take my work as they come and just relax.
What are your expectations for FGM and GBV in Nigeria?
Before COVID-19 the statistics used to be 1 in 3 women violated but with COVID-19 it became 2 in 3 women according to the statistics by the UNWomen.
What I would like to see is a place where we don’t have any woman violated at all. I know this may seem unrealistic but with political will it’s achievable. If we can’t then let’s have it reduced to the barest minimum.
Gender advocates should form a coalition, a symbiotic relationship and harmonise our activities so that instead of duplicating efforts let’s harmonise and do advocacy together so we can reach out to people who need it faster.
What is your call to government?
My honest call is that in states where the Violence Against Persons Prohibition (VAPP) Act has not been domesticated that government should not be voted back.
If a sitting government refused to domesticate that law or pass it or accent to it, that government should not be voted back and states where the law is in place they should be implemented.
Also people who violate this law should be prosecuted and if people see that people face consequences for their actions they would be warned.
Agencies that work on similar cases should work together rather than the rivalries that sometimes occur among them.
GBV should be seen as a crime against the state and maybe that would give agencies more power to deal with those that violate these laws because when it’s a crime against the state rather than the victim this will give agencies more power and vigour to deal with the perpetrator because now, it takes victim forever to get justice and this even discourages them.
We don’t know what’s happening with the Ocheanya, Ewa, and Azeezat cases. We don’t know what’s happening and with time it fizzles out but if they are seen as crime against the state they will chase it vigorously.
Women have often been blamed for crimes against them. What is your take on this?
A nation that is not engendered is a nation that is endangered because if we are not careful, a nation where half of the population live in penury, in fear and are not part of the political process, is not growing.
We need to give women more chance, create the opportunities for them to understand their rights and also let men know that this is not threat to their masculinity.
Allowing women perform their roles as helpmate or giving them opportunity to thrive would only mean a win win situation for everybody.
