By Joy Lifechangers
I am excited to share this topic with you this week.
Marriage and relationships are vital parts of our success in life. Relationships in this regard can make or mar you. Wrong relationships have been known to be responsible for irreparable damage in people’s destinies as a whole. The importance of making the right decision by choosing or pairing yourself with the right mate can therefore not be over-emphasized.
There are so many single, divorced and widowed people out there seeking for a life partner and asking all the questions they can possibly ask, just to find the more reason why the one whom they are attracted to is the one.
Compatibility is usually a key point for a lot of folks. “Do we complement each other? Are they strong in the areas where I am weak? Do they bring out the best in me? These are all questions we are curious to verify for our peace of mind, so we may continue in the bliss that we hope will last forever.
However there is a question I would like to introduce into the mix. This question is a very important one if living happily ever after is a desire of yours. It is an angle that has been overlooked and in some cases misunderstood.
The question is “A critic or a fan, who should I marry?”
Now, let us examine the two before we draw up any conclusions. Who is a critic partner? A critic partner is one who “pushes” you beyond your comfort zones. Your efforts are always critiqued and you are told what you should have done to make it better. A critic partner is that partner who you never get accolades from, even if the whole world is praising your efforts or achievements, they are already thinking of what you should do next and how you can make it better than your last effort.
A critic partner also tends to be pessimistic about new ventures the other half will like to take on. You get statements like, “who told you, you can do this now?” and “You’re not even that good in this area yet” and “You want to do this?”. Other statements that can be attributed to the critic partner are “What were you thinking to decide on something like this? And don’t you know the competition is better than you?”
These are perfect examples of natural reactions and expressions of a spouse or partner who is your critic.
Some people like the partner that criticizes them because they say it helps them stay on their toes. This unique pressure gives no room for slacking and momentum is always high. They say I am constantly driven to improve and work on myself continuously.
The downside to this kind of partner is that there is a tendency for you to transfer the pressure received. You will in turn keep pushing those who work directly with you. Complaints about feeling underutilized and unappreciated tend to the occasional outbursts from this set of people. Other common complaints are “Nothing I do is ever good enough” and “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to please him or her”. To be honest, the list goes on!
Let us now consider the other option. How about a fan as a partner?
In this case, you have a mate who is in awe of everything you do. You get a treat with any little accomplishment. You’re simply wonderful and amazing in their eyes. Even when you are confronted with a daunting task that even you doubt your ability to take on, you hear their voice expressing over confidence in your ability to accomplish the task. The fan partner believes in you.
The fan spouse is the type that sees and seeks out opportunities for you even when you are not physically present. He or she simply believes there’s nothing in the world you cannot do. Their own way of pushing you usually is more by praise and accolades he bestows on you because all that has a way of making you want to live up to expectations.
The fan partner will advertise you, encourage you, celebrate you, connect you and cover you.
So who’s it going to be for you? What are you more comfortable with?
Being the subject of constant criticism or being your own little celebrity in your partner’s eyes? Which one would you want to live with forever? What would you want to come home to everyday?
Who we choose to spend our lives with is actually more important than what we spend our lives on. So remember that as you date, relate and commit to making those vows of “I do”.
Here’s to your living happily ever after! I wish you God’s best in your relationships….Be a Life Changer!!!
