Marrying more than one wife, as practised mainly by Muslims and traditionalists in Nigeria, appears to be on the downward trajectory as a result of the country’s dire economic situation. PAUL OKAH speaks with a cross-section of Nigerians on whether or not the practice can still cope with the present day realities.
Polygamy breeds poverty
Polygamy may take the form of polyandry, where multiple men share a woman or polygyny, where a man marries many women. The truth remains that many people regard marriage as transactional, therefore as a common enterprise through which man and woman produce goods and services for their own consumption.
Early marriage, in turn, is associated with much higher reproductive rates, with its attendant implications on poverty and security. Instead of delaying marriage and procreation until the age of 20 or 30, women get married and have children in their teens. Moreover, half-siblings compete for limited resources, which more often put children at risk. Most women in polygamous marriages have limited economic power and are associated with their husbands’ financial health only. In Nigeria, the median age at first marriage among women aged 20-49 is 19.1 years.
Conflict between co-wives/spouses is also pervasive in polygamous homes, resulting not only in higher divorce rates, but even worse for the welfare of children. Polygynic families with more than two women are five times more likely to divorce than monogamous families. Overall, women are more likely than men to be divorced, separated, or widowed. The senior wives worry that they will be replaced by younger wives and the younger wives in turn worry about the power exerted in the home by senior wives.
Moreover, polygamous families are more likely than monogamous families to be poor. Firstly, fathers’ investment in their children is diluted. Because marriage to other young women is still an option, a husband’s resources of time, attention and money are diverted from his own children and towards finding new partners. Second, the increased number of children in polygamous families makes it increasingly difficult to provide each child with adequate time and attention. Some fathers don’t even know each child’s name because of the number of children they have. Poverty headcount rates for different households are: 2.66% for household with 1 person, 17.88% for 2-4 persons, 40.90% for 5-9 persons, 62.27% for 10-19 persons and 77.66% for 20 or more persons. It is no accident that the regions with the highest rate of polygamous marriages in Nigeria are also the poorest.
…Dr. Chiwuike Uba, ACUF
Christianity forbids it
Polygamy was accepted in the Old Testament before the death of Jesus Christ. After the death of Christ, nowhere can you find in the Bible that a man got married to two wives. In fact, according to the scriptures in the New Testament, a bishop must be the husband of one wife. A Bishop can also be likened to a priest. In the New Testament, we are all redeemed as kings and priests. So, by extension, a Christian brother should be the husband of one wife. You can’t show me anywhere in the New Testament that any man was married to two women. You can’t find any. Polygamy went away with the Old Testament. We are New Testament saints. Even in the Old Testament, it was after the fall of Adam that people practised polygamy.
God’s original purpose was one man, one woman. He created Adam and Eve and not Adam and Eve with Evelyn. I stand to be corrected. It is only Muslims that are permitted by their religion to marry up to four wives. However, the man is obliged to love all of them equally. He must also get the consent of his first wife to marry any other woman. Even some traditionalists have married more than one wife in the past. However, with the present economic situation of the country, people hardly practice polygamy. It is financially demanding as one has to cater for the women, apart from the number of children they will produce.
…Rita Favour, analyst
Nothing wrong with polygamy
When a man is married to more than one wife at the same time, sociologists call this polygyny. When a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry. In contrast to polygamy, monogamy is marriage consisting of only two parties. There is nothing wrong in marring more than one wife based on beliefs and choice, but the way it is done also matters. For instance, the internet was awash a few days ago because a Nollywood actor, Yul Edochie, married a second wife without the knowledge of his first wife. He was proud to announce it on social media, while the social media in-laws took sides, either condemning or congratulating him.
Although I support his action of marrying a second wife, he went about it the wrong way by not carrying his wife along. If as a man you make known your intention to marry a second wife and go on with, it is fair enough. However, if you claim to be faithful in your marriage, but already have a child outside the marriage through adultery, secretly married the woman just to avert pending scandal, it will definitely hurt your partner and that is where the problem is. If your marriage is the type that implies monogamy, try your best not to involve another person. If by any reason whatsoever you need to do that, it should be mutually agreed between the both of you.
Also, women should wake up. Some women are having affairs with married men and still go ahead to get pregnant for them. The most annoying is a woman accepting to marry a married man, not minding how the first wife will feel. This is an act of infidelity as far as the Christian religion is concerned. If you want to practice Christianity to the core, do it with all your heart. If you want to practice traditional religion or Islamic religion, abide by it. So many men and women commit adultery every day. Infidelity is everywhere. As a man or woman, everyone should decide which way to follow from the beginning.
…Daniel Adeniyi, civil servant
Polygamy is evil
Why do men feel it’s solely a man’s world, especially in Africa? This is one of the reasons I support feminism to a greater extent. I come from a polygamous home and I can tell you that it is not something you can wish your worst enemy. Polygamy is evil and condemnable no matter how you look at it. It breeds competition among the wives and unhealthy rivalry among the children, often on the instigation of their mothers. In some polygamous homes, wives are diabolical and often use juju to ensure that their stepchildren don’t progress, though nemesis often catch up with them. I come from a polygamous home of three wives, so I know what I am talking about.
Years ago, the excuse of our parents was that they needed more hands in the farm and that a man with many wives was considered wealthy and qualified for certain things in society. However, such cannot be said of the Nigeria of today. Apart from the economy not being favourable, there is a new awakening as many people are beginning to embrace Christianity, which does not support polygamy.
As evident in the Bible, God created Eve for Adam. If God supported polygamy, he would have created more than one woman for Adam back then. Also, a Bible verse says a man shall leave his mother and father and be with his wife, not wives. In the New Testament, a Bible verse says a man and a woman will come together and become one; that is both in spirit and in flesh, not one man and two women or more. Marriage is a covenant that is recognised in heaven. You are joined together with your partner. A lot of Bible verses also made reference to marriage, using a man and his wife, not wives. If you come up with the argument of Wiseman Solomon marrying many wives in the Old Testament, yes Solomon had 300 wives 700 concubines which really affected his relationship with God as the wives turned his heart away from God. Men that were polygamous in the Old Testament had a lot of dilemma and problems. Even King David is a good example as, a lot of times; his relationship with God went bad because of his promiscuity.
So, the Christian religion does not support polygamy, while the bad economy of Nigeria is a good reminder that men should marry those they can cater for.
…Eunice Ejiofor, scholar
