During the week, the Nigerian media space was awash with the weird story of a 17-year-old boy, Lawali Mori, caught in his room allegedly having a carnal session with a gargantuan broiler cock. An amebo, who went by the name Esther Dimas, who caught the teenager in the act, blew the whistle to the police in Viniklang in Girei Local Government Area of Adamawa state, leading to his prompt arrest for having unnatural s*x with the male bird.
The suspect admitted his offence but could not defend his action. The Commissioner of Police in the state, Mr. Afolabi Babalola, who expressed his worries over the development, directed a discreet investigation into the matter.
Bestiality, an instance of man copulating with animal(s), is a primordial habit common in many climes. Countries like Cuba, Chile, Hungary, Japan, Romania, Russia and The Philippines, are among those that encourage zoophilia but kick against same s*x relationships or homos*xuality.
Zoophilia or unnatural s*x is prohibited in this country. But Lawali Mori is not the first to be caught pants down. Many have escaped the long arm of the law while mating with animals. There were instances in this country where goats have given birth to kids wearing a human face or a calf spotting a human physiognomy. Somewhere in the Southwest, a young herder was filmed having a swell time with one of the cows under his watch.
In the mid-80s, a case of bestiality went to court in Jos where a zoophile was tried for the offence. The young man was caught mating with a pig. I cannot remember how the trial ended. But I raised a point in my humour column run in the Sunday Standard Newspaper that the court would require an interpreter in order to hear the submission of the pig to arrive at a fair judgement!
While growing up in Konta Kesi, a far-flung settlement in the Ashanti Region in Ghana, we caught a resident named Sarkodie mating with a hefty hen in the outskirts of the community. I had led a gang of kid hunters to hone our skills with lizards as targets before graduating to more serious expeditions in the bush or forest. Our weapons were catapults. As the head hunter, I had two different sizes of the weapons… a small one for short range targets and a big one for long range targets.
After we had perfected our shooting skills, we graduated to the bush to hunt for animals like squirrels, quails, etc. In our maiden outing as quasi-professionals, I killed a big bird and two squirrels. It was the bird I first hunted down. It perched on a kolanut tree towering at about 30 metres from the ground and 20 metres distance away. I chose the long range catapult. Lowering my height and bending my knees slightly, I took an aim with one eye closed. I stretched the weapon to its elastic limit, while my gang members held their breath as they watched the unsuspecting bird pruning its feathers.
Then, I let go of the stone. We all heard a thud as the stone hit the target, causing the prey to hurtle down. I raced towards it, shouting mekun nu, mekun nu, mekun nu. My exited mate raced after me as we tore through the bush. Even though I had never been a goalkeeper, I took a dive and caught the prey before it hit the ground. If the games master at the Konta Kesi Primary School had witnessed the superb diving, he would not hesitate to draft me between the sticks in our next match!
I can see that you are scratching your head for the definition of mekun nu (it should not be confused with mekun nu in Yoruba which means the masses). Mekun nu means “I have killed it” in Twi, the major language in Ashanti Region.
After the day’s exploit, we decided to call it a day. A drama took place as we emerged from the outskirts of the community. Kids soon gathered to escort the gang as we made for my mum’s bustling provisions shop. They were fascinated by the game we were showcasing along the road. No kids had ever achieved the feat. The hailing attracted my mum’s attention as she was attending to her customers. When she sighted the motley crowd with me bearing the bird in an upside-down position, she became worried. Initially, she thought her favourite son had been caught stealing a fowl. But when she saw me grinning from ear to ear, she relaxed. Thieves do not smile when they are nabbed!
Now, back to Sarkodie. We were attracted to the spot where he was mating with the hen by the distressed sound, a kind of SMS or Save My Soul, ringing out of the hen’s throat. Lo and behold, there stood Sarkodie holding the poor hen to his waistline. He was moving back and forth. He was in the throes of ecstasy and so could not notice our movement which was stealthy and typical of hunters. Then, we chorused his name in unison: Saaaarkodieee! He was jolted and nearly jumped out of his skin. He quickly dropped the hen. The bird took off so fast you would think its legs were not touching the ground.
Sarkodie wanted to cover his misdeed thinking we saw nothing. But we saw everything. The wind had blown, revealing the rump of the chicken as a time-honoured saying goes. Sarkodie was such a bully in the community. He was bulky and clumsy as a footballer. He was by far our senior at the primary school. I think I was in Primary 3 and had been made the vice-captain of the school XI. Being a non-native, Sarkodie never liked the idea of me being the vice-captain and a potential captain by the time I would be in the senior class.
The zoophile pleaded with us to keep mum with a promise to be nice to us henceforth. He was on his knees for a very long time, begging us. When we realised that he was eating into our schedule for the evening, we asked him to go and sin no more. He promised to buy our secrecy. After he left, we all flipped up our noses in derision.
By the time we rounded off our skills acquisition for the evening, it was resolved that it was better to run Sarkodie out of the community by broadcasting our discovery of his cock mating through radio without battery. If it were now, we would have recorded his exploit with our cellphone cameras and bombarded the social media outlets like WhatsApp, Messenger, Telegram, Tik Tok, Instagram, YouTube, etc., with the shots. Sarkodie had to flee the community out of shame. By the time I left the community for Nigeria, a year or so after the episode, he had not returned. Every kid, especially in the school, enjoyed peace with Sarkodie’s absence and they had me and my gang to thank for it.
