“Divorce is a fi re exit. When a house is burning, it doesn’t matter who set the fi re. If there is no fi re exit, everyone in the house will be burned.” Mehmet Murat Ildan. But why are the female divorcees always blamed for every divorce when it takes two to destroy a marriage? In our society today, women are always held responsible for a broken marriage.
Th ey are blamed, insulted and sometimes ridiculed while nothing is done to the men. In some cases, they are seen as irresponsible and some even say they are loose and want to be independent. It is even worse if she is a workingclass lady. Th ey will say she had no respect for the husband and other nasty things. When she falls in love with a married man, she wants to destroy another’s marriage. When she falls in love with a single, young man, she is catching them young. Even when a suitor comes her way, he is subjected to all kinds of questioning like, have you asked the reason why she was divorced?
Or are you sure she is not loose among many others. When it comes to the men, nothing like that happens. Th ey are seen as responsible men. Most divorced men get married within some months or a few years after they are divorced and the society see nothing wrong with it. But when it is a female divorcee, all hell will be let loose. Research has showed that female divorcees suff er a lot when a marriage is broken. From psychological to emotional trauma, especially when the marriage is blessed with a child or children who are taken away from their mothers.
Th e society must desist from this stigmatisation by showing female divorcees love and aff ection. Before raising a fi nger at a female divorcee, we must think about our mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts and what they have gone through or are currently going through. Deborah Phillips, Department of Mass Communication, Bayero University, Kano
