Maureen: Never again

Ballason
Gloria Mabeiam

Through the years I have heard stories of violence against women. Some are sad, some are weirdand some defy easy answers; there is no story I have found so heartbreaking in recent times like the story of Maureen Duniya (nee Matthias).

Maureen was a young woman, a little over thirty and lived in Zaria, Kaduna state. She got pregnant for Bobby and was urged to marry. Maureen and her new husband lived in the same house with her in laws. The marriage was characterized by violence. She often received beatings from her husband and was reported to have had a few broken bones. She was an orphan.

In the last week of November, 2015, Maureen lent some DVD plates. She returned home and was severely beaten and brutalized for defying her husband’s orders to not borrow DVDs.Maureen went into a coma and was taken to a hospital. She never recovered.

She died.Maureen died.Her death came without warning in circumstances that were routine.The whip cracks,the blood flows,the physical, emotional and psychological abuse all summed up in one day and decided an end- an end so atrocious and grisly.

How does love so quickly become hateful? I don’t know. But as the 16 days of activism on violence against women come to a close, Maureen is a reminder of the alarm triggers we ignore. She is a monument to our society’s refusal to acknowledge that violence against women or violence to any human at all, is abnormal, inhuman and should be totally resisted.
As I think about her gruesome but needless death, her entire life can be summed up in one sentence: She was born, orphaned, married and then killed. Such a tragic tale of an energetic young woman filled with potentials and died a potential.

Maureen is the untold story of thousands of women –the women in the rural areas deprived of education, economic empowerment or psychological health. She is the story of educated women who constantly feel they have to fight against the labeling of enlightened and financially firm women’s inability to keep their homes.
It would amaze anyone the number of women in this category. They have to prove they are homely and so suffer from subservience and stripping of their real self.

They have to show that their certificates and money are no barriers to home building and so they keep mute despite the abuse and sufferings.
It is a hard world,so dark, slippery and difficult. It is a world whose sad foundations are built when parents warn their girl child never to return home no matter what.

The boulders are laid one to another when tradition and stereotyping determine who the woman should be, how far she goes, what to aspire to or decline from.
The laws have also not been helpful. It has either given primacy to violence or kept aloof at its existence. Consider the following:Section 37 of the 1999 constitution provides that “the privacy of citizens, their homes, correspondence, telephone conversations and telegraphic communications is hereby guaranteed and protected.”

This section is too broad and can serve as a cover for those who engage in Child marriage and domestic violence. It means you are not allowed to intrude into a person’s private matters, without exception.
The Criminal Code discriminates against women on the issue of punishment against personal assaults. If you assault a man, it is a felony (serious offense).

If you assault a woman, it is a misdemeanor (less serious offense). Section 353 of the Criminal Code provides that “Any person who unlawfully and indecently assaults any male person is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for three years. The offender cannot be arrested without warrant.” Conversely, Section 360 provides that “Any person who unlawfully and indecently assaults a woman or girl is guilty of a misdemeanor, and is liable to imprisonment for two years.”

The difference speaks to society’s preference on what gender to accord better protection.
Can a man rape his wife? Yes, but not in Nigeria. Under the Nigerian criminal law, a man cannot rape his wife. The word no does not exist.Section 182 of the Penal Code provides that “sexual intercourse by a man with his own wife is not rape if she has attained puberty.” This provision may just subtly be supportive of defilement of young girls.

It shows that a woman is a thing to be owned just like mere cartel and so if bride price has been paid over her, her husband owns her and her emotions and could do as he please.
Can a man beat his wife under the law? Section 55(1) (d) of the Penal Code provides that “Nothing is an offence, which does not amount to the infliction of grievous harm upon any person and which is done by a husband for the purpose of correcting his wife.

Such husband and wife being subject to any natural law or custom in which such correction is recognized as lawful.” This provision is a veneer against domestic violence. It means a woman may be beaten if culture recognizes it.Indeed, this is the story of many women who have accepted beating as a cross of marriage.

Section 221 of the Criminal Code, which deals with defilement of girls less than 16 years, stipulates that a person cannot be convicted of the offence of unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl being of or above thirteen years and under sixteen years of age; or knowing a woman or girl to be an idiot or imbecile, has or attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of her, upon the uncorroborated testimony of one witness. This nearly unattainable burden of proof has been a leeway for rapists and perpetrators of sexual offences to get away from culpability.

The discriminatory practices on women at the work place are worrisome. In the court room, it has become customary for female lawyers to indicate if they are miss or Mrs when announcing appearance. In the police force, women married to civilian husbands are disallowed from living in police barracks. Rule 122, disqualifies married women from enlisting in the police. A Police woman who is single at the time of her enlistment must spend two (2) years in service before applying for permission to marry giving particulars of fiancé who must be investigated and cleared before permission for marriage is granted.

Section 125 of the police regulation states that “A married woman police officer shall not be granted any special privileges by reason of the fact that she is married and shall be subjected to posting and transfer as it were unmarried.” Section 126 of the police Regulations provides that “A married woman police officer who is pregnant may be granted maternity leave in accordance with the provisions of general order (a federal government instruction that regulated the condition of public officials).

However, an unmarried woman police officer who is pregnant shall be discharged from the force.
These practices and more have crystalised a hostile situation that has created more Maureens in our days than we could possibly account for.
As you read this piece, Maureen lies stiff and cold in a morgue. Deaddreams, a lifetime unlived and a 3-year old son whose memories would constantly be punctuated on this abuse. I urge you to ponder on this long tragic cycle and if it could ever be broken.

Soon another memory will surface and Maureen will be forgotten. Soon another story would be told which may be more horrendous. When does it all stop? How much justice is required to protect all human lives regardless of gender?
This is a war to protect our mothers, sisters, nieces, aunts, grandmothers or cousins.When will this nightmare stop?It will end when we think about the horrendous manner Maureen was killed and we chorus in unison: Maureen? Never Again!