For mothers and families

Last Sunday and yesterday were marked as the International Day for Mothers and the International Day for the Families, respectively. The closeness of the Days underscored the importance attached to the first and the critical foundation of the society upon which a nation is built.
The Mother’s Day is celebrated on different days in different parts, and by different religions of the world. But the second Sunday of the month of May has become universally acceptable as conceptualised by an American, Anna Jarvis, in 1912. It is a day to honour mothers and motherhood around the world. We wish every good mother (actual or by proxy) Happy Mother’s Day celebration.

However, the celebration ought to go beyond sending best wishes and gifts to mothers who are rejoicing on the occasion. It is necessary to draw the attention of governments and individuals to the plight of mothers, especially in the Third World countries. In poor countries, childbearing is seen as an inevitable risk. Statistics show that every minute, a woman dies during childbirth. Giving birth to children, weaning them and training them are the most important duties of mothers.

It is most surprising that those who run a country like Nigeria – a country blessed with abundant oil wealth over the years – hardly spare a thought for our vulnerable women and children. They have or once had mothers who cared for them while they were children. Now that a number of mothers – and grandmothers – could be found in government these days, the attitude towards women and children ought to be changing.
For decades now, the fashion among rich Nigerian mothers has been to jet out overseas to be delivered of their babies so that they can get American or British citizenship. This is unfortunate. Such mothers who trade the roots of their children to foreign identity cannot be described as the best mothers.

A good mother should not let her daughter get married before she attains adulthood. Complications of pregnancy like the vesico vagina fistula (VVF) are common in places where early marriage of minors is encouraged. Early motherhood also affects a woman’s development. Fathers too have a responsibility to care for their young daughters who are mothers in the making. Every pregnancy puts a daughter, wife, sister or an aunt in jeopardy. With dwindling resources, growing population and poverty, it pays for mothers to reduce the number of children they bring into the world. Agreed, mothers love and care for their children, but it pains to watch one’s children crying or dying for lack of food.

The perfect gifts to all mothers go beyond sweet words, text messages, cards and cash. The greater challenge is before all mothers in government – politicians, civil servants and even first ladies. Good policies and programmes aimed at making the world a better place for women are the most precious rewards that they desire.
Dovetailing into the Mother’s Day celebration is the Day for the Family of which the woman is a critical factor. A man is engineered by nature to facilitate procreation. He cannot make babies.

It is from the union of the woman and the man that a family is brought forth. The theme of this year’s Family Day celebration “Families, education and wellbeing” is germane. But how many families can pass the test?
Regarded as the minuscule units that constitute the larger society, the families are critical building blocks needed to engender the growth and development of a nation.

It is, however, sad to note that most families in this country are undergoing all manner of crises. They range from domestic violence, child abuse, division and separation arising from failed marriages among others. Most family winners, including the mothers, have little or no time for their critical roles in bringing up responsible kids. They have abdicated their roles to domestic servants while in pursuit of money and other good things of life. Consequently, most kids grow up without the needed parental care and guidance. The hiatus is a forerunner to criminality and other social vices that the kids grow up to engage in.

Sadly, family values have been hurled through the window as evidenced by the feuds among siblings over material possessions, children slaying their parents over minor disputes or brothers turning against one another over girl friends. Lately, hardly does a day pass by without reports about mothers selling off their kids for as little as N50, 000, or fathers ritualising them for money. They blame their action on hardship. Many girl-kids are not safe with their fathers anymore. Instances abound of fathers sexually abusing their daughters, most of them underage. How could such fathers protect their families?
The annual rituals become meaningless, waste of time and energy if the issues raised here persist. As we look forward to the celebration of the events in the coming years, it is hoped that the narrative(s) would change for the better. We owe ourselves and the generations unborn that duty.

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