“Beware of dogs” is a familiar warning post where the canines are kept for security purposes in many homes and even offices… except dog markets where they are sold for food like pepper soup, kebabs, etc.
Elementary journalism teaches us that when a dog bites a man, it is no news. But when a man bites the animal, it hits the front page. Journalism teachers should explain to us why in some parts of Plateau and Ondo states, where dog meat is a delicacy bitten off by men and women, such a practice does not make it to the cover pages? Please, do not laugh!
But let me quickly recall how I deliberately dodged the front page of the defunct Sun weekly newspaper of Jos in the early 80s. I had gone to celebrate a Christmas break with my co-publisher of the paper and former ADC to Gen. Yakubu Gowon, Col. William G. Walbe, now late. A plate of kebabs was laid before me by his steward. The aroma was irresistible, causing me to salivate long before I was served. At a point, I observed that my host stopped eating from his own plate. Rather, he watched me as I munched the meat with gusto and flushed it down with chilled fruit wine. After a short while, he leaned forward from his sofa and asked me whether I knew the kind of meat I was smutching. Momentarily, my heart gathered speed and I stopped licking my fingers.
“Let it not be dog meat!” I wondered aloud as our eyes locked.
I knew my friend was from Ngasland where dog meat is relished. Unknown to me, he had been accommodating my accusation that he was a dyed-in-the-wool practitioner of cannibalism because dogs are universally believed to be a man’s best friends.
“As one of your best friends, how am I sure of my safety with you?” I once asked him years back and we both convulsed with laughter.
“Yes, Clem. It is dog meat you have been munching. So, you too have been initiated into the club of cannibals!” He confirmed.
Screaming “J-e-e-e-sus Christ”, I raced to the toilet to evacuate the stuff from my bowel. He was roaring with laughter as I battled to disgorge the content. I managed to throw up some of the stuff. I felt sick inside of me immediately. After rinsing my mouth severally with water, I returned to the sitting room, wearing a funeral face.
“Why are you acting as though I gave you poison to eat?” he asked amidst laughter.
I did not utter a word. After a while, I picked my car key, thanked him for ruining my day and left. I shopped for an emetic on my way home to help flush up my system. For days after, I was spitting (saliva) like a woman in her early pregnancy. When I shared the experience with my editor, he suppressed a laughter. To lighten my mood, he suggested I could make it to the cover page of our next edition with this headline: “BIZZARE! Media chief bites dog at ex-ADC’s residence.” I let out a chuckle and waved him out of my sight. Such was my love for dogs.
Yes, dogs are regarded universally as man’s best and dependable friends. As a kid, I found myself always drawn to dogs, especially those in their puppyhood. The way they would gently gnaw at my heels or fingers with their toothless gums or puppy teeth always thrilled me.
My love for dogs was to grow later in life. In fact, I could not imagine a life without dogs. While living in Jos, I raised a couple of dogs to secure my environment. While in Farin Gada, a settlement along Zaria Road, I had one of them named Tiger. The problem I had with the tiger dog was that it never wanted to see anyone around my flat besides members of the household. Not even our house boy named Irimiya. I did everything to make it see him as part of the family. But Tiger refused! Any attempt by Irimiya to serve it food was rebuffed with a long-drawn growl, seeing it as a bribe. So, we had to tether it whenever Irimiya was around.
One afternoon, I forgot to chain the dog before Irimiya reported for duty. There were furious barks that shattered the neighbourhood tranquility. I came out to ascertain what was amiss, only to see Irimya rooted to a spot. Tiger had positioned itself, ready to defend its territory against someone it perceived as a serial “intruder”. I stepped forward to arrest Tiger so I could chain it. I never knew that dogs too have football sense until that fateful day. As I lowered my height and spread my arms as though I wanted to catch a fowl in order to gather Tiger into my arms, it sold a dummy and swept past me. Irimiya made a swift U-turn and ran so fast you would think his legs were not touching the ground. But he was no match for Tiger’s speed. It caught up with the “escapee” and attempted to bury its fangs in his left calf. Fortunately for Irimiya, the pursuer only caught one of his pair of baggy trousers.
I quickly regained my balance and succeeded in rescuing Irimiya from a further attack. There and then, I decided to fire Tiger from the house for insubordination and rebellion. I sent for an Ngas colleague. He came and took Tiger away (with thanksgiving) in the booth of his car. But to my greatest bewilderment, I received a strange visit the next morning. That unwanted visitor was the very Tiger I sacked. It sprang to a standing position on sighting me and began to wag its tail as if to say “I am glad to be back home!” What immediately came to my mind was that my colleague returned the dog before sunrise for whatever reason.
I immediately locked the dog up in its kennel. On getting across to my colleague, he expressed shock about the mysterious escape. How Tiger was able to navigate its way back home was a mystery to my colleague and I. The dog had been loaded into a car booth the previous day and ferried across the Tin City to Abattoir, another settlement far, far away from Farin Gada. Curiously, it did not bite its way back to the house. By the evening, my colleague showed up with a soldier friend. To shorten a long story, Tiger was eased out of its kennel, tied to a mango tree and executed by a one-man firing squad.
Besides its irascibility, Tiger was a great pet. I missed its company whenever I hit the road for my early morning jogging routine. It would insist on body-guarding me to and fro without attacking anyone. Looking back now, I could classify Tiger as belonging to the Anatolian Shepherd family widely believed to be fiercely loyal. Anatolian Shepherds are also known for their intense protective instincts, naturally wary of strangers and will not hesitate to intervene if they perceive a threat to their family or property.
There are other dependable species like Alsatian, Labrador Retriever, German shepherd, Afghan Hound, Rottweiler, Samusky, Alaskan Malamute, Pharaoh Hound, American Pugabull, Australian Kelpie, Appenzeller Sennehunde, Azawakh and Chihuahua.
What brought about this piece was a tragic incident that occurred on December 15, 2024 in California in the United States where three fierce-looking dogs revolted against their owner… and mauled him to death at a playground and in front of horrified onlookers.
Police responded to a distress call only to arrive and found three “XL bullies” sinking their teeth into the defenceless owner. According to an eyewitness, the attack was so vicious everyone had thought the police were trying to apprehend a violent criminal.
Eventually, when the cops arrived, they were forced to shoot the animals with tasers. Two of the dogs were subdued but a third escaped into the neighborhood woods, forcing a lockdown until the escapee animal was found back at its home and captured. The canine victim owner was rushed to the hospital with unknown injuries but eventually he gave up the ghost.
The United States is notorious for dog attacks. According to available statistics, around 4.5m Americans are bitten by dogs every year, resulting in some 800,000 seeking treatment.
While wishing you all a whooful weekend, I urge you to beware of neighbourhood dogs. Children who are fond of hurling stones at dogs are advised to let them “sleep” whenever they see one lying down. Finally, let it be known from now on that in every friend like a dog, a foe could be lurking inside. Although, there have been no such serious dog attacks in Nigeria as witnessed in the States, the appropriate authorities should bring back the culture of issuing licences to canine owners. This will ensure that the animals are vaccinated in the event of an attack to avoid rabies that can lead to victims barking their way to the great beyond.
