By Ene Osang
Abuja
Raising a child is probably one of the most difficult jobs for people to do all over the world. Since babies do not come with child raising manuals, couples, especially future mothers, have to learn from their mothers, aunts, mothers-in-laws, or any other relative who is close to them and has had experience on that.
As children grow up, parents have to find reasonable ways in order to help their children, advise them, punish them, lead them to achievement and to teach them.
Sometimes children under ten behave inappropriately. For example, they learn to say offensive words and they show no respect to their relatives.
I think parents in these cases should punish their children in a reasonable way. Children must know those kinds of attitudes are not good at all, but sometimes, parents never teach children who are growing up how to behave. These children think the way they behave is completely correct.
The result of this group of children is that they end up being bad citizens, bad parents and bad workers. Society can blame their parents for hundreds of murders, rapes, assassinations, child abuse cases, and all kinds of crimes we see every day on TV and in newspapers.
Therefore, I think the different societies all over the world should look for better methods to bring up their children. Otherwise, nobody will be able to live near his neighbour in the nearest future.
Back in the days, Nigerian parents took child raising as a communal way of life, where one’s neighbour, relatives or even strangers, correct the child whenever they see him or her doing wrong and they are appraised.
Today, a lot of children do not know this culture and parents, on the other hand, do not allow any other person discipline their children even down to the school as most schools today prohibit flogging of children.
Blueprint spoke to some teachers and parents in Abuja who bared their minds on our dwindling culture of communal living. Most of them complained that the major reason some children misbehave today is because parents make them see everybody as their equals.
The Head Teacher of Royal Intellectual Nursery and Primary School, Yangoji, Gwagwalada Area Council, Gloria Ehiowoicho, blamed parents as the major cause why many children lack respect today.
According to her, many parents do not allow teachers to discipline their children for doing wrong as they always feel that they are wise and well-behaved.
She also attributed this problem to global development, saying the cartoons and other movies children are exposed to has made them grow wild, hence majority of what they practice is what they watch on TV.
“Tell me what “Tom and Jerry” teaches children if not how to mock an elderly person,” she said.
On how these problems can be solved, Ehiowoicho urged parents to ensure they correct their children when they do wrong, as well as allow their school teachers to discipline them.
She said parents should ensure they buy cartoons that teach children good morals, and also monitor whatever their children watch on TV. She also added that children should be directed to children’s class when they go to church, so as to learn what they are supposed to learn as the adult class is too high for their level.
Mrs. Mary Oladipo a mother of two said it is sad that most children these day are not taught the core value of respect for elders.
“When I was growing up, when you see an elderly person and pass him or her without genuflecting to greet, my mother gives you eye contact and you know immediately and you know you have to do something and if you disobey, she will scold you and sometimes even flog you.
Today children will see elderly persons and they will be looking eye ball to eye ball until they are being asked how they are before they respond or greet.
This is not our culture and I would say it is the lack of respect parents don’t teach children today that brings all the problems in our society.
The National Coordinator, Women Trafficking and Child Labour Eradication Foundation (WOTCLEF) Mrs. Veronica Umaru, in an interview with Blueprint recently denied that the war against child labour makes children disrespectful.
According to her, many parents and guardians have abused children by depriving them of education and or, making them do chores their age shouldn’t do.
“We are not saying children should be disrespectful in fact, we ensure we teach their responsiblities as children. What we wage war against is tge over use of children. Children should not hawk while they are in school or trafficked as domestic helps for money because it’s an abuse on their rights,” she said.
It is worthy to note that there are many aspects which influence parents in this hard job of child raising; for example, culture, economic situation which makes mothers work now and the religious environment.
Some people believe that the society has been soiled with immoralities because mothers are too busy to nurture their children, yet others say anything can be achieved with good planning and time management.