I was rounding off my day’s activities on Wednesday in readiness to hit the sack at a little past 11 pm when a screen shot hit my Whatsapp wall, announcing the death of a prominent Nigerian public officer who holds the key to our democracy. The message came from my London-based niece who wanted to confirm the authenticity of the shocking piece of news. The news, flown on the wings of Twitter, announced that the said figure answered his final summons in a London hospital where he was flown to following some medical challenges he encountered in Nigeria.
The manner of his demise? The Twitter tweeted that he went to bed the night before, first woke up by the crack of dawn, slept back and eventually kicked the bucket.
The public figure in question is a friend since 2011 and by the time the message dropped, the (breaking) news would have suffocated the airwaves with social media rats gnawing at it voraciously. So, l became suspicious.
Nevertheless, I was worried. Could it be true? Was the story being caged or suppressed… even in faraway London? I told my niece I had my doubt about the authenticity of the story and left it at that. I was scared to call anyone close to him for confirmation of the story so that in the event of it being a counterfeit, I would not be pigeonholed as a purveyor or spreader of forged news… or even a death wisher.
Momentarily, my mind raced back to the widely rumoured demise of former President Muhammadu Buhari in that same London. In the early months of his administration, Buhari took ill and had to fly to London where he spent 100 days undergoing treatment.
During the period of his medical incarceration, Buhari was said to have passed on and his cadaver flown to Saudi Arabia for a (secret) burial. The late Queen Elizabeth of England was said to have sent a condolence message to the Nigerian government. Manipulated photographs of Buhari, reduced to a bag of bones, were all over the social media platforms. The vivid accounts of his passing were made believable by his death wishers in the opposition parties, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) in particular.
Nigerians, reeling in shock and disbelief, were then fed with the news that the cabals back home had shopped for his replacement from Sudan. And that whoever returned from the London trip was a clone. That belief gained traction even among the political class and educated Nigerians. Many religious leaders were also hoodwinked by the false narrative to the extent that they made it a topic on the pulpits.
When Buhari eventually returned to the Aso Rock Villa, his appearance attracted curiosity and scrutiny. Many were on the lookout for his familiar mannerism, idiosyncrasies, accent, banters, etc… just anything to give the impostor away. His spouse, Aisha, was expected to raise an alarm from “za oza room” about a cloned or counterfeit hubby. But none was noticed… and no alarm was raised. Buhari was his usual self. He was relating to his family members, aides, friends and associates in his usual taciturn manner. Some even went as far concluding that Buhari’s brains were quickly evacuated and deposited in the skull of the Sudanese, hence the imposter was very much at home with his state duties and everyone. After a short while, the Sudanese or clone dimension fizzled out. And the gangling president ran through his first and second terms successfully.
About 48 hours after my niece’s Twitter screenshot got to me, the figure at the centre of the rumour appeared on the national television. I rushed for my handset and took a screenshot of him not only performing his duties but also looking as fit as a fiddle. I would not say my jaw was literally on the floor when the news hit me because judging by the way fake news is crafted these days and fitted with the garb of truth, I have learnt to be circumspect in swallowing any news bait hook, line and sinker. These days, news fakers are so adept in their nefarious trade that they could craft phantom stories about you and you would find it difficult not believe it!
It was not clear who authored the fake news and fed it to Twitter. But I received it and went into a brief shock because of my closeness to the person in question. The danger here is that if high blood pressure and I were fellow travellers, I would have probably suffered a massive heart attack… only to discover that l had been scammed to sing my swan song prematurely.
The rumoured death reminds me of several such fake stories that involved prominent Nigerians in recent years. And the list is quite long. One of them is former Military President Ibrahim Babangida. Famously referred to as IBB, the enigma has survived many death rumours. His spouse, Mariam, also suffered the same treatment years before her eventual passing. While receiving treatment in faraway United States for cancer, she was reported dead. A miffed Mariam cursed her death wishers and declared that they would answer their final summons before her.
Another victim of death wish is Dame Patience Jonathan. As the wife of a sitting President, Dame suffered some serious health challenges that kept her away from the Villa for so long that her associates had begun to pinch her possessions. She went under the knife a number of times in Germany. But the woman turned out to be the proverbial cat with nine lives. She cheated death until her husband left the Villa and she is still alive and kicking till date.
Fake news has been with us long before now. In the Second Republic, the most high-profile fake news was spewed by Chief Kingsley Mbadiwe, famously referred to as a Man of Timber and Calibre or was Caterpillar? The flamboyant politician, also well known for his highfalutin words, had announced the death of the legendary Zik of Africa and the presidential flagbearer of the Nigerian Peoples Party (NPP). Mbadiwe was of the National Party of Nigeria (NPN). Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe did not find the death wish or rumour funny at all. Like Mariam Babangida did, Zik cursed Mbadiwe and the Timber man fell long before a much older Zik sang his swan song.
Former President Olusegun Obasanjo was recently caught in the loop of death wishers. But the Ota Methuselah is very much alive and kicking on his farm… till date.
There was this struggle over land between my landlord in Jos and a much younger man. That was in the late 80s. After a seemingly endless tug-of-war, the young man backed off, wondering why he should dissipate his energy fighting with an old man who would kick the bucket any moment. And the matter would be settled once and for all. But death does not strike based on age. It was a surprise to me one morning to learn that the fearful summoner had intervened in favour of the old man.
If the London story had been true, I know many back home, especially the politicians, who would have taken to the floor and danced themselves lame. But my friend is not only alive today but also full of life and kicking.
I am told that the Yoruba folks are of the belief that if one is rumoured to have given up the ghost, the tales will add more years to the person’s life as it has been the case with IBB and Dame Patience.
