Bastardisation of the words “I love you”

 

The string of words “I love you” used to be one of the most pleasing lines to hear. It was clearly meant to show genuine interest in another person. It’s still the most pleasing to those few who still understand why they’re using it and the level of commitment involved. For majority however, the words have become too common and lost its value. This is because the words could mean a range of things these days.

To begin with, “I love you” could mean “I love your money.” Some people can only be able to say that they love another person because of how much money they can get from the person and how much material things the person can get for them.

They dare not say “I love you” to someone who doesn’t have enough money that they can spend on them.

I love you could mean “I love your outward appearance or look” .. These days, a young chap meets a young girl who looks good and bam! He says to her, “I love you.” How on earth could you love someone just like that? Just because the person looks appealing? You’ve not taken time to know the person. You don’t know his or her innermost self or unseen characters. But.. wow.. This person looks good and you think you’re in love.

I love you could also mean “I want to have sex with you.” I mean who doesn’t know? Some ladies and gentlemen be claiming they love their partners, they got butterflies in their stomach for them and all those self deceiving beliefs.. But once they hit it off.. You wonder what suddenly happened. No more calls, no more cares as before.. What else? Sex was the deal and it’s done, so no love.

I love you could mean I want to control you. Yeah, some people are just control freaks. They feel that when they love somebody, they own that person. If it’s possible to mount a CCTV camera everywhere their “beloved” goes to or even send a drone to monitor them, they will gladly buy into it.

These people don’t understand that trust is a vital part of love which is built gradually.
I love you could mean I just love you like a brother or sister. Thousands of young men and even women have been trapped in the dreaded friend zone because of this erroneous usage of I love you.

You say “I love you” to someone and they start to feel fly without knowing you meant “I love you like a brother or sister” If you’re guilty of using “I love you” to express brotherly or sisterly love, you need to repent. Lol

I love you has been bastardized to mean these things above and even more. So what can we do? How do we ensure that what we have is real love and not a fake charade that will fade out? Well I got a few questions you got to look out for:

1. What does he/she usually ask for?
Someone who’s interested in your money will show it no matter how hard they try to pretend. Figure out what they ask you for all the time. Could range from money to fix Brazilian hair, buy the latest phone, recharge cards, a house, a car, cash sums..etc These are warning signs.

You should buy your partner surprise gifts sometimes, but it’s not your responsibility to provide all his/her needs at this dating level. A person who cannot try in some way to cater for his/her own needs isn’t even fit to be in a relationship.

2. How free do you feel with him or her?
Someone who is a control freaks will always exhibit his or her character. Be watchful.
How free do you feel around him or her? Do they want to boss you around? Do they always want to control you without giving you a chance to be free to express yourself? Are they giving you some space once in a while? These are important questions to ask. Someone who loves you can advice you, but shouldn’t be bent on enslaving or controlling your life all the time.

3. Is he or she pressuring me for sex?
This one is a clear sign that they simply want to hit it off. Someone who genuinely loves and cares about you will be patient with you till you’re ready and your mind is made up. If they’re too keen for the sex.. It tells you how quick they’ll leave you when they’ve had it. Some people are just after sex. You need to be able to identify them and understand what really they mean by “I love you.”

4. Are they genuinely concerned about your welfare and aspirations or just your looks?
Someone who is just concerned about your looks will cheat or leave you as quick as lightening whenever your looks change. Would you prefer someone to fall in love with just your beauty or with everything about you? Won’t you prefer someone who is always there for you to celebrate your little successes? Someone who really loves you will care about your dreams and how you’re planning to achieve them. They will care about your general well being. What’s on your mind, your opinions on issues. Not just your face or body structure.

Those are the important questions I think we should consider in order to properly understand what “I love you” said to us really means before losing our heads in the name of love.

Now, it’s very important to you also ask yourself those questions as well. Sometimes, it’s not about them but about you. What do you mean when you say “I love you?” Do you mean any of those aforementioned things? Then you’re also a part of the problem. Make sure you’re also loving your partner right (for who they are not what you can get from them).

I think if these considerations are made and we learn to only use those words when we genuinely love and care about someone else, then the words “I love you” will once again reclaim its true depth and meaning and the rate of its bastardization will drop significantly.

Ogbuchi Nigel Ikechukwu is a blogger

 

Leave a Reply